Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
