In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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