I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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