Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
