I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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