Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
