but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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