so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize