I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
