Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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