spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
