just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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