I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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