im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
