A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize