whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
