Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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