okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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