and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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