note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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