well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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