The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize