He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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