We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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