All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize