Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
