It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
