i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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