You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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