Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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