I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
