Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
