It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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