cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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