They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
