17 year olds will be the death of me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
