so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
