Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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