I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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