Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
