Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
