Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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