We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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