Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
