I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize