I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
