So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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