i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize