I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
