Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
