dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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