she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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