I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
