No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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