i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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