she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
