he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
