Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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