we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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