Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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