Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
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