He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
