The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
