sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
