Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
