I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
