Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
