I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
