I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
How naked do you want me to be?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize