apparently the secret to your success is patron
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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