Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
