Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
