Your tits are I can't wait for
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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