That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
