Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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