The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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