We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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